Parenting in general can be challenging at times, and at times extremely challenging. We all have days where we feel like we're herding cats and chasing monkeys. However most days we are grateful for the little gifts of life God has given us, we offer up prayers, we ask for patience and we take one day at time.
However for some of us, we may have children that really tests our parenting strategies. I have six kids. Two have Sensory Processing Disorder (one of them also has mild Autism), and another has ADD. I believe each and every one of them have a gift to offer and themselves is of course a gift from God.
The thing is, not all disabilities are immediately visible. Sensory Processing Disorder and High Functioning Autism can be that way. My son who has SPD is a happy, handsome, sweet little boy who enjoys, reading, running, playing and doing a lot of the same things other little boys his age do. However, he likes structure, prefers to be alerted to change before it happens, dislikes itchy clothing, and can get overwhelmed if he's tired or had a long day. When he was 18 months, he only said a few words. I have quite a lot of background in Special Needs(and now a Master's), and knew something was not quite right. We got interventions going immediately and was able to meet his needs. He talks and usually handles his SPD needs quite well. My daughter has SPD and mild Autism. She gets very overwhelmed in crowds, loud noises sometimes bother her as do tags, itchy clothes and sudden transitions. She's beautiful with big beautiful blue eyes that you could swim in and long, thick golden hair that even I envy! She likes order and to be in control of play. Making friends can be difficult. None of these things are apparent when someone meets her for the first time. Sitting through Mass for an hour is difficult for her, but we do the best we can. I'm sure there are people who can't understand why a six year old girl can't "behave" for an hour. Well, quite frankly you don't know.
I have a son with ADD who is bright, sweet as a can be with sandy blond hair that has just enough wave to cause a superman curl in the middle of his forehead. He's also come a long way, but can still get distracted if tired or excited about something (especially Star Wars).
I heartily believe in advocacy for special needs children. I choose to home school all of my kids because that is what's best for our family, and through insurance we get them the appropriate intervention. I know that is not possible for everyone to do, but I encourage parents, special education teachers, para professionals, doctors and therapists to be good communicators with one another, advocate for the kids. Encourage each other as well as the child. The goal for me is to make sure my kids find joy and can fly, be successful and have the tools available to them to do so. That also means I will seek out and appreciate the support from friends and family, and try to educate those who don't understand.
So before you rush to conclusions because a child (or even an adult for that matter), doesn't "look" disabled, take pause, offer to help. Maybe the parent(s) has a sleepless night for one reason or another. Maybe a big change happened and the child is having a difficult time adjusting. Be compassionate, supportive and pray for them. I know I would appreciate it.
Great article!
ReplyDelete